arklaycounty | I am your servant // May I light your cigarette?

I am your servant // May I light your cigarette?

[ The chill of the night seeped through the fabric of Wesker's clothes as he stepped out a side door into the dim light of the garden, making him shiver. Winter had come to the Arklay Mountains, and the crisp scent of the year's first snow was in the air. He pulled his black jacket tighter around him as he made his way down one of the paths to a more secluded area. This habit of his was going to be very inconvenient during the coming months.

Wesker had started smoking the same day William had told him he was dating Annette. It helped him deal with the hurt of seeing them together and the stress that caused him. At first there had been issues with the nicotine making him sick, which might have been because he chain smoked for a while, but he'd gotten used to it now. The habit was something he was trying to keep from his coworkers, if only because he didn't want to hear his only friend complaining about how bad it was for his health.

When he was reasonably sure that he was far enough away from doors and windows to avoid being seen, he reached into his jacket pocket and removed a small black box. Hands moving on autopilot, Wesker removed a dark colored cigarette from the box and slipped it between his lips. He cupped his hand around the end of the cigarette to protect the flame of his chrome zippo from the light breeze. As the tip began to glow orange, he placed the box and lighter back in his pocket.

A deep draw followed by a slow exhale of smoke already had him feeling much more relaxed. He was supposed to be back in the lab in a few minutes—they were working late tonight—but he'd really needed the nicotine. He was counting on William being too absorbed in work to notice his absence, or at the very least, to do anything about it. ]

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[ What?

The single sentence was arresting, something between a slap in the face and being hit by a train. How long had this been going on for without his knowledge? Why wouldn't he just fucking say something if there was a problem with him? Wasn't he at least worth that much? He had the right to at least know. ]

What? [ William narrowed his eyes. ] You'd rather start smoking than be direct with me for five minutes about something which apparently involves me.

[ Like there was even anything Al could say that would seriously upset him. Was there just that little trust? ]

In this case, yes, I would.

[ Wesker brought what remained of his cigarette to his lips for one last, short drag. Then he turned his focus away from William to bend down and put it out, leaving a smear of ash on the stone. When he stood up, he stuffed the butt in his pocket with the first.

There was temptation to light another one, but he chose not to. However, he also made no move to head back inside. ]

And I really have no interest in discussing it with you now.

At least stop smoking while you're talking to me—That's unfortunate for you. You also don't want to discuss the fact that you smoke now, Albert, but you can't seriously expect to not have a conversation about either of these things!

[ Fucking unbelievable. He wasn't sure if he'd ever been this upset with the man, aside from wanting to gut him alive when they first met. ]

And obviously you do have some intention of talking about this, or you wouldn't have told me. What did I do, then? What imaginary rule of yours did I break?

There's nothing to discuss regarding the cigarettes. I've been smoking for a while now, and I'll continue to do so.

[ He huffed, watching the fog of his breath in the cold air for a moment. ]

I wouldn't have said anything if you weren't being such a brat.

If I weren't being such a brat?

[ Again with the condescension, acting as though he was speaking to a child acting out and not a grown man with two incredibly valid reasons to be upset. ]

Forgive me for being irked that you've started voluntarily working on an early death by cancer, then, Al! You have no idea how—... [ Slow. Gruesome. Dehumanizing. Painful. ] And how long is a while?

[ How long have you been lying to me?

There wasn't an answer that he'd be happy with, but he needed to at least know. ]

[ Wesker chose to ignore the cancer remark, though he certainly had something he wanted to say about it. Doing so would make him just as childish as he thought William was being. ]

Since you started dating Annette.

[ Because I wanted you. You were supposed to be mine. ]

[ At least he was upfront about that. Since he asked her out, so probably about three months. The damage might not be irreversible, and it felt better than hearing that he'd been hiding this for years or something. Barely. ]

And I drove you to smoke by doing what exactly? What was it that was so egregious you went directly to smoking and lying about it for months instead of saying something?

[ It hurt, behind the shock and fury. Deeply. ]

[ For a moment, he stared at William in silence, wondering if he really didn't get it. Maybe he should just keep it to himse— ]

I just told you.

[ The words were out before he even knew they were there waiting. Frustrated, both with himself and with William, Wesker shoved his hands in his jacket's pockets and began to walk further into the darkness toward the dorms. It was very rare for him to abandon work like this, but for tonight, he just couldn't be bothered getting back to it. There was no way he'd be able to focus. ]

[ William stood still for a moment, scoffed disbelievingly. ]

That's it. I spend time with someone other than you and you start smoking.

[ And then Albert started walking away from him while he was talking. The rage that had been trickling through the cracks in William's composure surged forth like water from a broken dam, flooding every thought. He followed right after him, of course, lengthening his stride to make up for the small difference in height between them. ]

If you felt like you were being ignored you should have said so, Albert! Or done any number of things that aren't smoking!

[ Wesker was getting incredibly tired of hearing the words "smoke" and "smoking". They'd killed things in their experiments that didn't complain as much as William had in just the last few minutes. The nicotine in his system was already doing some very heavy lifting.

Then William was following him, still going on about the smoking. Wesker just snapped and rounded on him so suddenly it would be a miracle if the man didn't run into him. ]

Is that what you got from this? That I felt ignored? I wanted us to be together you unbelievable idiot!

[ His tone was harsh, filled with every ounce of built up frustration, but fortunately he managed to stop himself from shouting. No one needed to overhear any of this. ]

[ William, fortunately, came to an abrupt halt the moment Wesker turned, but his reaction to the revelation wasn't nearly as immediate. Instead he just stared in silence, mouth half-open, processing.

It had been mutual, then. Maybe still was. His own best friend just hadn't trusted him enough to say anything, like he'd turn on him for that. Like the bond they shared meant so little to him that something like coming out as gay would undo all of it. ]

Then why not say so before I ever started dating her? Or when I first started dating her, or at any point other than being caught smoking? Do you think that little of me?

We've been so busy with work that I thought I had time. Obviously not.

[ He took a deep, shuddering breath, willing himself to calm down. It was out in the open now, and while he couldn't say he felt better about it, at least it wasn't something that was quietly festering inside him anymore, threatening to eat him away from the inside out. An emotional cancer, just as painful as the physical cancer William was fretting over. ]

You seemed happy when you told me the two of you were dating. Was I supposed to ruin it for you?

[ So now he was concerned with doing potential harm to him. Funny. ]

Because you slowly poisoning yourself doesn't? If this was about my happiness, Albert, you wouldn't have spent the past three months chainsmoking without telling me.

[ No. It was about his apprehension and lack of trust. Nothing more, nothing less. Especially given that he hadn't even felt that strongly about here when they started dating. Would have left her, even. ...Might still have, if it weren't for this lovely shit sandwich he'd just been served. ]

[ Of course William went right back to the smoking. That's all this was about for him. ]

Forget it. I've said more than I needed to.

[ He turned again and resumed walking toward the dorms, feeling more annoyed than tired. At least he could have some peace in his own rooms. Maybe if he calmed down he could even get some work done.

And in the morning he could take a chopper to the city. Then he could go the entire weekend without hearing any complaints. ]

Edited 2023-01-02 02:58 (UTC)

[ Absolutely not.

William stormed after him, grabbed a handful of lab coat over his shoulderblade and yanked it. God, he reeked of smoke, even outside. ]

You've barely said anything. This conversation isn't finished.

[ Wesker's muscles tensed when William grabbed his coat. If it had been anyone else he would have seriously considered hurting them, but no matter how angry or frustrated he was, he couldn't do something like that to Will.

He did jut his shoulder back against William's hand, making it clear that the touch was unwanted. ]

Yes, it is. Now let go of me.

No.

[ The movement of his shoulderblade beneath the fabric clenched in his hand didn't go unnoticed, but it did go unheeded. William stood stock still behind him, rooted to the spot. ]

What's your plan? You're just going to keep destroying yourself? If you cared about me at all, you wouldn't do this to me.

I could ask the same of you. What's your plan now that you know how I feel about this?

[ To be honest, William's answer might potentially influence his. One could argue that if Will really cared about him, he'd actually be supportive instead of antagonistic. ]

[ Bold of him, considering what started this. As far as William was concerned, he wasn't in the position to be making any kind of demand whatsoever, let alone in such an expectant tone of voice. ]

The impetus isn't on me. Answer me.

The plan is to deal with stress however I can.

[ At least nicotine was reliable. It was there for him whenever he needed it. Even if the delivery method was probably harming him.

Wesker shrugged out of his lab coat, leaving it behind in William's grip as he continued walking. He hadn't been tired when he'd stepped out for a smoke, but he was starting to feel exhausted now. Emotions were such an inconvenience. ]

[ William threw the coat on the ground, where it more-or-less blended in seamlessly with the fresh snow. Childish, yes, but he'd never made much of an effort to curb such behaviors. ]

Choose something better! Why should I leave her for someone who lies to me, Al? [ A faint, unstable quaver underscored his voice as he added— ] Why should I be friends with someone who lies to me? Someone who apparently doesn't care if I have to bury him!

[ You know how my mother died. You know how she died, and you're still doing this to me. ]

[ The slight waver in Will's voice was enough to make Wesker pause, though he didn't look back. He wasn't trying to hurt his friend by doing this, but he hadn't been able to cope on his own. There was no one for him to talk to—no one he could ask for advice. He was on his own.

Albert breathed a heavy sigh. ]

I wanted us to be together, and when you started dating Annette there was no one I could turn to. I've been doing what I've had to do to manage.

[ A beat. ]

If I could rely on you for support, I'd quit.

Then quit.

[ What an absurd thing to say. 'If'. As though there had ever been a question as to whether or not Wesker could rely on him for support if he just made it clear there was a problem. ]

I've never been anything but supportive of you.

You haven't been very supportive tonight, have you? Not once have you so much as tried to understand why I started in the first place.

[ And that hurt. He realized that cancer was something that hit close to home for Will, but it felt like his friend didn't even care about his feelings—only about the cigarettes. ]

[ Are you serious?

William narrowed his eyes. ]

You've made it clear why you started. That doesn't make it a valid reason. [ What the fuck does he expect, a That's so romantic? ] You lied to me for months, Albert. About the cigarettes and about—everything else. Forgive me if I'm not thrilled with you at the moment.

[ Annette doesn't lie, he almost said but ultimately didn't. On some level, even through the fog of his anger he understood that was a line not to be crossed. He didn't want to remove the knife, but he didn't want to twist it, either. ]

[ Wesker bristled at the response. Maybe he should have been honest and just told Will how he felt, but at the time, it had seemed like a bad idea.

Excuse me for not trying to ruin your relationship. ]

It is a valid reason whether you like it or not. I do wish I had told you how I felt, but that doesn't matter now. I'm done with this conversation. Have a good night. And weekend.

[ Because he wasn't sticking around for more of this. Now he was definitely going to the city for the weekend.

When he started toward the dorms yet again, he fully intended to ignore any effort to engage him further. He'd had enough. ]

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I am your servant // May I light your cigarette?

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he's so mad it made him stupid

Nah. They're both stupid.

so true bestie

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